Why are you who you are today? Was there someone who poured into you as a child or a teenager that influenced the trajectory of your life? Perhaps your story is similar to one that I have heard often during my time leading family ministry teams. ‘I remember Mr./Mrs.____. They made such an impact on my life. I hope I can make that type of impact on someone else’s life.’ Volunteers who invest in kids and students are the secret sauce to a successful family ministry program. This season of physical isolation does not change the importance of their role. In fact, this season highlights the importance of their role. Today I’m sharing 5 Ways Small Group Leaders can Partner with Families.
For most leaders, it has been months since they have sat in a small group circle with kids or students. Church, including kids and student ministry has moved online.
So, in light of the changes, how is your team doing, partnering with families?
How has online engagement been with the families in your ministry?
Kids and students are missing personal connections. Parents are inundated with emails, social media, their own to-do list AND now their child’s. There is healthy tension between partnering with families and just adding to the background noise and the to-do list. How do we stay connected to families?
Think about the kids, students, families, that you serve. Ask yourself (and some of your high capacity leaders) the following question…
Does everyone feel connected to someone?
Is every child and student who regularly attends your ministry, connected personally to a leader? The answer to this question probably directly correlates to the level of family engagement you are seeing in this season.
If you are not seeing the levels of online engagement you expected it may be due to one of the following:
- every child/student in your ministry is not personally & individually connected to a leader
- OR
- the team has not been equipped and empowered to continue to invest in kids, students and families in this season.
If you find yourself in one of those scenarios, it is not too late to re-direct! Small group leaders serve on your team because they desire to reach the next generation with the hope of Jesus. By empowering your team, you can partner with families in ways that may foster deeper connections than ever before.
What if you could enter the next season with a team that is more effective and efficient about intentionally connecting with kids, students and families? I believe you can!
5 Ways Small Group Leaders Can Partner with Families
1. Prioritize Spiritual Growth
Small group leaders must be committed to growing their personal relationship with God.
“The only way you will effectively be able to discuss authentic faith with your few is if you are experiencing authentic faith in your own life.”
Lead Small by Reggie Joiner and Tom Shefchunas
We introduce kids to an authentic faith with Jesus when we introduce them to a leader who has an individual and personal relationship with Jesus.
If you are a small group leader, in what ways are you consistently investing in your personal relationship with Christ? If you lead a team of small group leaders; how can you resource your team or provide encouragement and accountability so they make this a priority? This has to be the starting point. Everything else is most effective when this comes FIRST.
2. Hide & Seek
Who has not ‘shown-up’ at all the last couple months? There are no attendance reports to run on Monday morning right now. We have to be intentional about making sure that no child, student or family falls through the cracks.
Do you and your small group leaders KNOW what kids and students have been absent virtually? What are you doing to ‘find them?’ At the deepest level, people, INCLUDING kids and teens, want to feel like they belong.
If you lead a team of small group leaders, provide a tracking sheet that includes contact information for their students and parents. Equip them to check-in and be present for the kids and families who might be struggling most in isolation. If you can’t get them on the phone or text, send them mail. You never know how significant an attempt to connect can be to someone struggling with loneliness or grief.
3. Be Physically Present
SHOW UP for families instead of expecting them to come to you.
Now that the primary location for family ministry has moved into the home, churches have been creatively resourcing parents.
Let’s be real for a minute. Kids and students (and their parents) are getting burned out from video chats and time online. People are craving personal connections.
Recently, a group of my friends showed up at my house for a drive-by birthday parade. It wasn’t until they were present -in front of me- that I realized how much I needed to see them.
What if the small group leaders on your team were empowered to be present NOW, just for the few they lead? Here are a few ideas:
- a personal face-to-face visit, to say hello, even if from a distance
- deliver a gift to celebrate a milestone event (5th, 8th, 12th grade graduation)
- hand deliver a special craft for Fathers Day or a printed activity to match your curriculum
- ice cream or candy drop-off – ‘just because’
Where are the kids and students hanging out? Can your small group leaders meet them there? Maybe it’s on Tik-Tok, or FortNite, or the dog park that just opened back up. My middle schooler lives for the day when he can compete with his small group leader in Fortnite.
Empower your small group leaders to leverage their influence so that the next generation feels seen, known and valued.
When we SHOW-UP beyond what parents expect, we communicate that our relationship with their child is authentic and meaningful to us. It validates that they can trust us to be a positive influence in their child’s life.
4. Designed to Make a Difference
Not only is serving others life-giving to adults, it is life-giving for kids and teens.
Can you help organize opportunities for kids and students to see that their life, has a purpose, even now, and they can make a difference?
What options exist in your area for your small group leaders to rally their group and serve together?
Volunteer Match is a great online tool that will match you, (or your group) with volunteer opportunities in your area. https://www.volunteermatch.org/
We model for kids and students that their life has significance and purpose when they see they can contribute and serve. Perhaps a small group leader, can support Senior adults through Meals on Wheels. They invite the families of the kids in their small group to all sign up on the same day. With advanced notice, all the details organized and a personal invite, you may be shocked at the engagement.
One creative idea I heard from a church leader, is called Senior to Senior. The small group leaders personally drop off 2 flowers/plants to each high school student. One to keep and one that included a blank card and an address to be delivered to a senior adult in their community. The small group leaders encouraged their students AND empowered them to make a difference.
Create opportunities for kids, students and families to see they have something to contribute in this season. Partner with families in ways that allow What a gift for families to look back on this time in history and identify the ways that they contributed to the good.
5. TALK to parents.
I know this may feel like a reach since email and text messages are super convenient. But, when I use the word ‘talk’ here, I mean ACTUALLY TALK.
Yes, you can send out mass emails and ask for a reply. It is quick and easy to post on social media and hope the algorithm does what you need it too. However, what would it communicate if every family heard personally from someone on your team?
Personal connection between a parent and the leader who is investing in their child develops trust. Not only that, it also conveys that the leader honors the parent as the primary influence in a child’s life. This is a great time to intentionally ask questions and get insight on how to best partner with parents.
- How can I support you?
- What unique struggles is your child/student working through right now?
- As the leaders have conversations about re-opening the building, what things would help you feel comfortable returning?
The 5 ways small group leaders can partner with families sounds great, BUT...
What if we don’t have small group leaders?
Churches who had established a small group model prior to covid-19, are likely having an easier time keeping families engaged. (If they have equipped and empowered those leaders to persoanlly connect with kids and families.)
We know that relationships keep families connected. If online family engagement is low in this season, intentional and personal connection will build relationships and increase engagement.
It is not too late to lead your team in this direction. As long as you have a database with names and contact information, you can create ‘virtual’ small groups.
What a gift to parents to have a leader, personally interested in walking alongside their family in this season?
Here are some quick ideas if you want to start the small group model right now:
- Make a plan for your small group leaders & detail expectations.
- Video chat with your leaders to train them. (Don’t forget to record the video chat for those unable to attend so they can watch the playback.)
- Provide contact information & a resource to help them keep track of their contact attempts.
- Try to maintain about an 8:1 ratio (kids to leader)
Ministries set up with this model, will be better equipped in the future to: reach more kids on their level and develop deeper relationships with both kids and parents.
NOW is the time to lead with culture and vision. Cast a big vision, to encourage your volunteers to LEAN IN. Kids, students and families need leaders who love Jesus to LEAN IN closer, especially in this season. And then, for that to continue, moving forward.
In the event that you oversee a family ministry program, please make sure to check out this post. In it, I share some thoughts on improving team culture. The way you pour into the leaders on your team impacts how they pour into kids and families. Now may be a great time to evaluate and elevate your team culture. Pivoting your team is another article that you may find helpful.
If you ARE a small group leader…
THANK YOU! You are the tool that God uses to enable EVERY kid/teen to be seen, known and connected to someone outside their home that can model an authentic faith.
I will never forget Nathan. My 5th grader’s (at the time) small group leader. We had just started attending a new church and he was struggling to walk into a brand new environment alone. He met Nathan. Nathan found common ground with him through baseball. A few weeks later, Nathan showed up at his baseball game. Him showing up that night, with a Gatorade in hand, caused everything to shift. God used Nathan to show my son he was seen and known.
Small group leaders…the role you play is significant. Lean in, figure out how to show up and get ready to watch how God will use you!