It feels safe to say that this is a year that we will never forget. I’m imagining that the same is true for you. In an effort to try to not let the history books remind me of what this year held for me personally and for my family, it felt important to take a few minutes to document the year in review – 2020 style.
First, let me begin by saying that I don’t have to spend any effort to remember the hard parts of this year.
Loss was part of 2020. Mental health challenges were part of 2020. Stress, strain and difficult decisions were all part of 2020.
All of these things led to so many lessons, reminders and even opportunities that otherwise would not have existed. These are what I want to remember. They are the things I want my kids to remember. (They will be the easiest to forget, so documenting them is my strategy.)
Year in Review – 2020
So, this post is a little bit different than my typical posts. This one is going to be personal. It is my hope that it will serve as reminder for me, but ALSO that it will perhaps resonate or challenge you to notice even ONE positive things that you can hold onto from this past year.
Here are just a few stories from my year and my takeaways from them…
Refining Happens inside the Fire
2020 was a year of reading, learning, stretching and growing. On a personal level, I was stretched more than any other year that I can recall. This website and my journey into coaching, consulting and support ministry leaders began at the beginning of 2020.
Let’s just say, that this year was not the ideal year to launch something new.
However, I am so thankful for the opportunity to learn new skills, learn from people I may not otherwise have had an opportunity too, read, grow and push beyond my comfort zone.
Not only will I get to be a part of a family ministry conference in January, I was invited to join a coaching cohort. (The way it happened was way too much by chance to be anything other than a God-thing.)
‘Togetherness’ is more than Physical Proximity
Since my work is home-based, I was excited to have ‘my people’ around more when school and work all moved into our home. (On most days, I genuinely, really like to be with my people!)
There was less errands to run, less appointments to keep, less time commitments, overall. (YES…these were matched with GREAT loss, but the point of this article is to document the GOOD…)
Because of how I am wired, this naturally felt like a great opportunity to spend MORE time WORKING.
I just moved my ‘work’ into close proximity to where my family was and felt like it was a win-win.
One day, one of my kids mentioned to me that they were sad they hadn’t gotten to spend any time with me. I was caught off guard. We had spent SO MUCH time together.
Nope. To our kids, togetherness isn’t defined by physical proximity, but rather by time engaging. We were spending MORE time in our house with each other, but less time ‘together’ as far as they were concerned.
This year has brought redefined priorities and expectations about time together.
Parenting As A Verb
This year I watched as my kids walked through so many challenges.
Things that felt important that were gone. Stress, anxiety, grief, fear, sadness; have all been a part of this year.
Have you ever felt so far in the hole, that even though you knew what steps to take to help yourself out, you couldn’t find motivation to follow through?
That’s the place we had gotten too. None of my ‘suggestions’ seemed to be helping. (This is primarily because no one was acting on any of them.)
Parenting in this year required far less ‘suggestions’ and much more ‘insisting.’ If we know WHAT our kids needs, our job is to motivate them to pursue it.
Things ‘feel’ different after we exercise, take vitamins, Facetime friends or family, get sunshine, do something creative, engage with people we care about, laugh, etc. Parenting in 2020, has been more hands-on than ever before. Sometimes we have to ‘make them’ do the things that will HELP them.
AND…we HAVE to have direct conversations about mental health with our kids. We can’t avoid what feels messy or difficult.
Kids are struggling and they need the adults in their life to show up – in the messy and difficult spaces, like never before.
The reward is that our kids will now walk into the future armed with strategies for coping with and navigating difficult situations.
Crisis Breeds Creativity
At the time of this writing, we have only had one situation where someone in our house has been exposed to someone positive with Covid.
Our daughter plays club soccer. They have safety and health protocols in place for the protection of the players and coaches. After a game this fall, one of the players announced that she was leaving because she felt ‘very sick and thought she had the flu.’
Two days later, we got a call that the player was covid-positive. Our daughter had to quarantine for two weeks. No in-person school, no high-school soccer tryouts, no leaving the house.
The fact that this happened as a result of someone’s choice to disregard safety protocols, made it that much more difficult to process. (We got an in-your-face reminder of the importance in considering how OUR CHOICES impact others.)
What resulted though, was a brand-new creative outlet and business for our daughter!
She hand-painted an ornament for me to help fill time (and as a creative outlet). I shared the ornament on social media, only because I was so proud. Next thing we know, people began asking for one of their own.
Prior to this, she had no idea how she was going to save for a car. God used what felt like a crisis as the answer to a completely different problem. We will never forget this lesson. The crisis was the start to an amazing answer to prayer!
People > Everything
This was my biggest reminder in light of ministry and life in general.
On a ministry level; leading people is a privilege. Not because of what they help accomplish, but because of the innate value God places in WHO they are.
Investing our time, in volunteers on the team and in families we serve brings a greater return than time spent on curriculum, crafts, worship choreography and physical environments.
Never has this been more apparent than when you consider that the rate in which volunteers and families return correlates to the rate we intentionally and personally invest in them.
On a life-in-general level; we have to intentionally see people for WHO they are; it doesn’t happen accidentally. Our world will be better for the next generation if we teach our kids now to SEE people.
There is so much more I could say. 2020 has impressed so much on me. More than anything is the constant reminder of how thankful I am that Jesus is where we get to place our HOPE.
Make sure not to miss my last video from 2020. It includes a short recap (different than this one) along with a highlight reel of pictures & an introduction to our newest family member!
But for now…whether we have met in person, or not, I am so thankful for you. You matter. Your life matters. I’m cheering for you.
Merry Christmas!
Isaiah 43:19: “Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.”
