Does this scenario sound at all familiar to you? A once, highly engaged, all-in, elementary student, shows up and all of a sudden, they have ‘checked out.’ Not only have they stopped participating, but they seem bored. While the programming and activities haven’t necessarily had any big changes; the heart and mind of the student, have. They have become ‘too cool for school.’
When I first heard this phrase, it was used by an educator. She was explaining why a once motivated, high-achieving student had, by all observations, settled into a mood. Or more of a mindset, really. A school is a pain and I am bored and over-it, mindset. There were now the oldest on campus. This was the 6th year of school on the same campus, following the same routines, eating in the same cafeteria. They were checked-out and ready for something else. (I do understand that this phrase, nowadays has a much more sarcastic undertone. Please just track with me using the explanation above!)
While this obviously is a reference to school, I believe it is a great analogy for church as well. This very same thing occurs with kids and teens who have been attending our ministry programs for a while.
Too Cool for School
I remember observing a distinct shift with my own son. As a young elementary student, he would RUN into church on Sunday. He could not wait to get checked in to kid’s ministry. When I looked in, he was always sitting, front row. He danced his heart out to the worship songs and would jump around hysterically trying to get chosen for on-stage activities. Afterwards, I would get the full play-by-play of every single moment. As he moved his way through his 4th and 5th grade years, I watched this shift occur.
As our students age-up, our programming does not level-up with them.
The result is that they check-out.
We lose them when we become irrelevant and unengaging.
In the event, that this does not seem like something that has, or ever could, affect your church, let’s look at some big picture facts.
Research
Barna Research Group published the results from a 5 year research project back in 2011. The study focused on young adults who were regular churchgoers. One finding from the project, indicated that 3 out of 5 people disconnected from church after the age of 15.
In a more recent study (2017), conducted by LifeWay Research, they discovered that 66% of young adults who were once regular church attenders, stopped attending church (for a year or more) after the age of 18.
The data is daunting. But I do believe there are some things we can do.
Today, I want to offer some practical steps that you can implement to help counteract these troublesome trends. Many of these are structured tips for elementary environments, focused on keeping 5th graders engaged. Most of them are completely relevant to teenagers, especially if you combine programming for 6th-12th graders.
15 Ideas to Keep the Next Generation Engaged
The following is a list of ideas that I have either personally implemented or they have been implemented by other ministry leaders in this space.
These are based on in-person services, but the online space we dove into this year, is no less important in our pursuit of the hearts of kids and teens.
ONE.
Choose activities and resources that are geared towards the older age group. (If you are only going to offer a single age-group option…choose to gear it towards the older boys. The younger students will stay engaged and learn through direct conversations.)
TWO.
Use young adults, that will capture the attention of the younger students to lead worship.
THREE.
Choose worship songs that are relevant and highly engaging to the next generation.
FOUR.
Filter decisions regarding events, marketing, giveaways, resources to send home, etc., towards the older students. (The best case scenario is to offer different age-appropriate options, but in the event this is not feasible, choose options that are relevant to the older age group.)
FIVE.
Create special seating up front for the older students. (Get them leading from the front! This also directs their focus onto the programming as opposed to focusing on the younger group in the room.)
SIX.
Be intentional in helping the older students build relationships with other kids their age.
SEVEN.
Utilize student leaders as small group leaders for your 5th graders.
EIGHT.
Invite the student Pastor or student leaders to start to connect and build relationships with the kids they year before they graduate ‘out’ of kid’s ministry and ‘into’ student ministry.
NINE.
Create opportunities for older students to serve and begin leadership development. (Let them experience that they can be a difference maker, NOW, its not just something reserved for adults!)
TEN.
Offer ways for the older students to engage outside your regular programming a few times a year.
ELEVEN.
Create a separate space for your older students. If you offer a whole/group small group model, is there somewhere different that your older students can meet during small group time? How can you elevate the environment to keep them engaged?
TWELVE.
Make what you are teaching – relevant & personal.
One thing mentioned in the Barna Research Group study was that students mentioned a desire to have their faith connect to the world they live in.
Know what your older kids are navigating in real-time. What is the standardized testing schedule? Who is nervous about upcoming tryouts? How are they feeling about the changes with back-to-school, Halloween, cancelled school events? Tailor your conversation, the scripture you point too, the prayers you pray over them in such a way that it is RELEVANT to their life, right now.
THIRTEEN.
Plug in volunteers that can show up consistently in key connection roles.
The older kids get, the more relationally driven they become. The will show up more consistently when they have a personal connection with the person who is leading them.
FOURTEEN.
Offer something new – that is reserved, just for the oldest kids in your group. Give them something to hold anticipation for…special for their age group. (My mind pictures the VIP lounge reserved only for pass holders at a local theme park. Something meant to build excitement for those who made it into the exclusive group.)
FIFTEEN.
View your programming through the lens of a first time guest. If a 5th grader, 8th grader, 12th grader walks into your ministry, are they going to feel comfortable. There is something about the pre-teen and teen years. Most of the time, the new person, does not want the attention on them. They don’t enjoy the awkward feeling or feeling singled-out. (Let me just be honest – I don’t enjoy those feelings either.)
If your ministry is solely online when you read this, you can still pour your focus here. What is it that 5th graders find engaging online that you can glean ideas from? How are you making your teaching, relevant to their life? Is there anything you can do to start to begin or further develop relational connections.
You can help avoid the ‘too cool for school‘ mood from taking over. Adjust your programming so it’s ENGAGING, RELEVANT and RELATIONAL and watch those once checked-out students, begin to check back in!
In case you happen to find this on a day when you are feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities on your plate, please take a minute to read THIS. ‘We get to hold an expectancy that the future still holds undiscovered possibility and potential.’ Believing this for you, for your team and for the kids and families you are called to reach!